Episode 593

593-The Art of Quiet Growth and Building Without Oversharing

Published on: 20th January, 2025

This podcast episode delves into the importance of building and nurturing your personal and professional life quietly, emphasizing the need for self-care and spiritual fulfillment before serving others. Maria shares her reflections on recent positive changes in her life, highlighting how these shifts have reminded her to prioritize her own well-being. She encourages listeners to preserve the sacredness of their journeys by being selective about what they share with the world, suggesting that maintaining a sense of containment can lead to a more fulfilling experience. The conversation also touches on the significance of discernment in engaging with others and the impact of societal pressures, particularly around the celebration of Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Throughout, Maria invites listeners to trust their journeys, protect their energy, and approach life with love and intention.

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Maria's latest podcast episode serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of self-care and personal growth. After taking a much-needed break, she returns with insights about the many positive transformations in her life. Throughout the episode, she reflects on the necessity of prioritizing one's own well-being before attempting to serve others. Maria shares that she has learned the hard way that it’s crucial to ensure your own 'cup' is full before pouring into others, emphasizing the importance of nurturing oneself. This theme resonates deeply as she encourages listeners to embrace their personal journeys, highlighting that it's completely acceptable to take time for oneself without feeling obligated to share every detail with the world.

Delving deeper into the idea of building quietly, Maria discusses the unique energy that comes from working on personal projects or relationships without external pressure. She argues that silence can be a powerful ally in the creative process, allowing for genuine connections and a stronger foundation for future endeavors. This notion challenges the ubiquitous culture of oversharing on social media, where the pressure to showcase every moment can detract from the authenticity of one's experiences. By advocating for a more contained approach to personal development, Maria inspires her audience to consider what it means to cultivate their dreams privately, fostering a deeper connection to their aspirations and the people involved in their lives.


The episode also coincides with Martin Luther King Jr. Day, prompting Maria to reflect on the significance of service and social justice. She encourages listeners to find balance in their own lives by engaging in meaningful causes while protecting their emotional well-being. Drawing parallels between her personal experiences and MLK's legacy, Maria implores her audience to discern when to confront challenges and when to exercise self-preservation. The episode culminates in a heartfelt call to action, urging everyone to build their dreams with love, trust the journey, and embrace the beauty of their individual paths. Maria's message is one of empowerment, affirming that personal growth is a journey that thrives in both silence and community.

Takeaways:

  • Maria emphasizes the importance of nurturing personal growth before fulfilling external purposes.
  • Building quietly allows for the preservation of energy and connection to higher power.
  • Engaging with relationships in silence can create a special synergy and focus.
  • It's essential to discern which conflicts are worth confronting to avoid self-harm.
  • Avoid oversharing to protect the sacredness of your personal journey and accomplishments.
  • Self-preservation is paramount; do not feel ashamed to avoid harmful situations.

Companies mentioned in this episode:

  • Nick Fresh and the Looseness Radio Show (Tiktok: Nickfreshalive)
  • Nappily Naturals (Leimert Park, California)
  • New Body Products (Compton, California)
Transcript
Maria:

Hey y'all.

Maria:

You are listening to another episode of the Spiritual Homegirl podcast where we better self in spirit and make peace with the day through wisdom, education and practical, easy to follow tips.

Maria:

I am your host, Maria, your spiritual homegirl who's also a mental health professional.

Maria:

And it has been a while, hasn't it?

Maria:

I wanted to really be intentional with how I want to come back because a break was necessary and to a degree, I'm still on a break.

Maria:

There have been a lot of changes that have been going on in my life.

Maria:

Positive changes, wonderful, beautiful, God ordered, divinely assigned, love centered changes that have been happening in my life.

Maria:

And I love that for me, you know, if you've been going through those changes, I love that for you too.

Maria:

But what I'm saying is that sometimes you think you have a purpose that you need to fulfill and you think that sometimes your God order assignments to serve may be more important than the God order assignments in your life, your personal life.

Maria:

And I got a very wonderful reminder that you have to make sure you take care of you and make sure your cup is good before you pour from it.

Maria:

And God has sent me some wonderful blessings in which I've had no choice but to nurture and grow and sustain and build and create wonderful foundations with in order to make sure that my cup was full so that I could continue serving in the capacity that I've done with Spiritual Homegirl.

Maria:

Sometimes your purpose gets there first and then everything else comes after.

Maria:

And I'm kind of learning that.

Maria:

And I love it.

Maria:

I love it here.

Maria:

I do.

Maria:

I love the changes that I have been going through.

Maria:

I love the shifts, I love the roles that I've been assigned.

Maria:

I love the responsibilities that I have.

Maria:

I love the journeys that I'm having at the same time in the different roles with the different responsibilities, with the blessings, with the lessons.

Maria:

I love it all.

Maria:

Okay, so I just want to jump on here and let y'all know I did not forget about y'all.

Maria:

But home girl has been growing up and having other God order assignments and things to nurture and love and grow.

Maria:

So with that being said, we'll talk about it more in detail in the future.

Maria:

As y'all already know, y'all know I like to kind of build and, and talk about things afterwards.

Maria:

You know, I've always been a preserver of energy.

Maria:

I want to talk about that today.

Maria:

There's nothing wrong with building you or your life or your marriage or your family or your relationship or your career.

Maria:

There's nothing wrong with building that quietly.

Maria:

Now, granted, if, you know I've always been a champion of never being scared.

Maria:

Don't be scared to go public when you're ready to go public.

Maria:

But there's nothing wrong with preserving the sacredness of the energy of what you're building and wanting to make sure that whenever you are ordered by God or your higher power to share those things that you are comfortable sharing those things.

Maria:

There's again, like I said, building.

Maria:

There's.

Maria:

There's something special about building something beautiful, especially when it's God ordered.

Maria:

It's something special about building with the person or the people or the family or the company.

Maria:

Whatever it is, it's.

Maria:

It's really something.

Maria:

It's a synergy.

Maria:

When you're building along something, right?

Maria:

And you don't have everybody else in your business and you don't have everybody else watching, whether they mean to watch for good or for bad, that's irrelevant because people are going to watch regardless, right?

Maria:

But it's different when you have that, that energy of just containment where there's no other outside energy.

Maria:

You all are keeping God first.

Maria:

Or y'all have a mutual focus on making sure that you are connected to the higher power to source energy and y'all are building just you them source.

Maria:

You them source.

Maria:

It's a special kind of feeling.

Maria:

And you won't know that feeling unless you've done it.

Maria:

And you won't know what that feels like until you stop sharing everything online.

Maria:

And I'm not saying that you need to stop sharing things online, but what I'm saying is that those that have constantly shared, share, overshare, overshared, you won't know what that's like.

Maria:

Not to judge you, but because you have always allowed other people to witness the miracles in your life.

Maria:

And there's nothing wrong with that.

Maria:

There's nothing wrong with that.

Maria:

I'm just saying with respect to the feeling of what it means to just have that energy contained and not shared.

Maria:

That's only what I'm meaning.

Maria:

If you are over sharing, you're like, dang, I want to know what that feels like.

Maria:

Simple, just build something in silence.

Maria:

Not because you're scared of people not blessing it, you know, not wanting to be happy for you.

Maria:

Take that out the equation.

Maria:

Because I see a lot of that these days.

Maria:

I'm like, yeah, everybody want to focus on who don't want to see them win, forgetting them.

Maria:

People do your protection and go about your business.

Maria:

But if you want to know what that's like, whoever you're with Right now, whatever you're doing in your life, wherever you and your family's building, whatever career, professional aspirations you have, just keep it to yourself and don't share until it's done, or don't share until it's strong, you know?

Maria:

And make sure you stay protecting and strengthening that.

Maria:

Okay?

Maria:

Don't ever live your life and fear these other humans who also are on this journey to learn things and go through their mistakes and get their humble pie the same way we all do.

Maria:

We all go through it.

Maria:

And that's the wild thing about that, too.

Maria:

Like, when I hear people say they scared to be.

Maria:

To share what they're building.

Maria:

Like, they scared not because they love the energy of being connected to source without any other witnesses around or the spirit of containment.

Maria:

Like, it's always about fear.

Maria:

Oh, people are jealous of you.

Maria:

People want your life.

Maria:

People want a destiny.

Maria:

Swap.

Maria:

Okay, who cares?

Maria:

Y'all better.

Maria:

Y'all better protect yourselves.

Maria:

What's wrong with y'all?

Maria:

Like, y'all better stand up.

Maria:

Like, stand up for yourself.

Maria:

Assert yourself.

Maria:

If necessary, defend yourself.

Maria:

Do what you got to do to make sure these people are not trying to interfere in your life simply because you're scared.

Maria:

When you're scared of somebody, you automatically have given them the power.

Maria:

They ain't gotta do nothing to you.

Maria:

They don't have to do nothing to you.

Maria:

If you think that a jealous person can ruin your life because they jealous of you, those people literally want your life.

Maria:

And you're basically saying, take that.

Maria:

I'm so scared you're going to take it because you want what I have.

Maria:

Okay, well, no, like, don't do that.

Maria:

Like living.

Maria:

It's a different energy when you create and build out of fear.

Maria:

When you're building and connecting out of faith to the higher power and to the source of whom you're connected to.

Maria:

That's all I'm saying.

Maria:

But it's been a beauty in that it's been such a wondrous.

Maria:

It's been a wondrous.

Maria:

Not perfect.

Maria:

Now, don't get it twisted.

Maria:

Perfection does not exist.

Maria:

But it's been a wondrous occasion and phase of life.

Maria:

Just being able to just build in the spirit of containment.

Maria:

I love it.

Maria:

I love it.

Maria:

I love it.

Maria:

I love it so much.

Maria:

Today is also MLK Day, Martin Luther King Jr.

Maria:

Day.

Maria:

And shout out to Atlanta's finest off of Auburn, AV Auburn Avenue.

Maria:

Shout out to.

Maria:

I used to be on Auburn App a lot.

Maria:

Shout out to the peacock.

Maria:

Shout out to mangoes.

Maria:

Shout out to your vitamin lady.

Maria:

She's still on Auburn, but it's just Auburn Avenue is such a historical area for not only the city of Atlanta, but for black people, black history.

Maria:

So to know that Martin Luther King Jr.

Maria:

Grew up on Auburn says a lot about what he experienced growing up and what his sense of community was, because that is a true version of community.

Maria:

But black business, black success, you know, it's just.

Maria:

It's just a black schooling.

Maria:

Like, it's just so much focus on that.

Maria:

And I know these days people like to pick and choose his words because they like to fuel a hatred agenda or an agenda that is.

Maria:

That is divisive and which is ironic because people wasn't fooling with him.

Maria:

The same folks that try to pick apart his words to.

Maria:

To twist into misappropriate for harmful purposes are same folks that probably wouldn't fool with him.

Maria:

He was alive.

Maria:

So as your home girl who loves you and wants to see you win, I just want to tell you to watch for the baiting today.

Maria:

Today we know that, you know, some things are changing with administrations and our governments, and I just want you all to just not give in to the baiting and to anything that you know that's going to hurt you.

Maria:

Sometimes we walk towards things that are harmful because we think that we're confronting a fear when actuality we are going to be worse for it from confronting it.

Maria:

Some things you have to do for the experience.

Maria:

But it's a difference between confronting a fear and knowing that you're walking towards harm and you're going to harm yourself by engaging with that.

Maria:

At some point we, and I'm never above what I say, we have to use our spirit of discernment to discern what is worth confronting and what is worth leaving alone.

Maria:

If you know that confronting something will absolutely make you worse for it afterwards, do not engage.

Maria:

This is outside of today.

Maria:

It's just in regular life, if you know that there is somebody that has been wanting and praying and begging for the chance to.

Maria:

To tear you down, and you're not scared of it, but you've been avoiding it, but you want to confront it, but you know that confronting it could make you worse off because you're giving somebody that wants to hurt you what they ask for.

Maria:

That is not what I'm saying.

Maria:

Okay?

Maria:

If you're ever going to feel like you're worse for something, just leave it alone.

Maria:

Avoid it.

Maria:

And people try to make shame out of avoidance.

Maria:

And in some situations, I can see why it would not be the most sensible decision to do.

Maria:

But when it comes to self preservation, family preservation, you have to do what you have to do.

Maria:

So some things are going to be out of preservation and you're completely well within your right to do that.

Maria:

So I just wanted to put that on you all spirit today.

Maria:

And also with MLK's example, you know, how will you give of service to a worthy cause, even in the face of opposition?

Maria:

And how do you preserve and protect yourself while doing so?

Maria:

What are some things that you're willing to put your life on the line for?

Maria:

Are there any things that you're willing to put your life on the line for?

Maria:

If so, how would you do that?

Maria:

How do you deal with people that will willingly misunderstand you only to try to align with you down the line?

Maria:

Because that's what we see out of mlk.

Maria:

It's like, wow, y'all just okay, y'all forget that history, you know, history is history.

Maria:

Those things never go away, no matter how many times people try to rewrite it.

Maria:

That is what that is.

Maria:

And how people acted is how people acted.

Maria:

You don't change that because 60 years has passed and you want to look better.

Maria:

That's not how that works.

Maria:

So how do you deal with that?

Maria:

How do you deal with, you know, people trying to.

Maria:

You know.

Maria:

Another thing too I want to mention as well.

Maria:

I've never liked the MLK vs.

Maria:

Malcolm X debate.

Maria:

I've always thought that was the bice.

Maria:

I've always thought that was counterproductive.

Maria:

At the end of the day, there were two folks that were fighting for liberation of black folks.

Maria:

And they were fighting for it in ways that were different.

Maria:

Very much different.

Maria:

But another thing that I've noticed here is that people like to be fake intellectual.

Maria:

They like to put one above or below or against the other.

Maria:

As your home girl who loves you and wants to see you win, I want to please tell you to avoid the drama, the BS with that.

Maria:

It's even more sad when you see it from your own people that do that.

Maria:

It's like, okay, like child, like things are if.

Maria:

If you look at where we are today and then look at what people were fighting for, it kind of makes you wonder, like all this arguing about who is better.

Maria:

I could, girl.

Maria:

Yeah, y'all know what?

Maria:

Y'all know what I'm saying.

Maria:

I digress with that.

Maria:

I don't want to get all extra.

Maria:

What they call it woke now.

Maria:

They don't read.

Maria:

They are misappropriated woke.

Maria:

Let me not get this out and walk on here.

Maria:

Oh, child.

Maria:

Anyway, hold.

Maria:

Let me Sister Tea.

Maria:

Ginger living is so amazing for the morning.

Maria:

I highly recommend if you don't have any interactions with ginger or lemon, please start your day with that.

Maria:

Tastes amazing.

Maria:

Also, stay warm out here, y'all.

Maria:

It's some.

Maria:

It's some.

Maria:

Some global.

Maria:

Some.

Maria:

Some climate stuff going on here.

Maria:

It is cold in Atlanta, Georgia.

Maria:

Okay.

Maria:

It's gonna be colder as the wheat progresses.

Maria:

Progresses.

Maria:

I can't talk today.

Maria:

The cold got my speech all thrown off, y'all.

Maria:

But it is cocoa cold, okay?

Maria:

And it's gonna get cold as the week progresses.

Maria:

Please stay warm.

Maria:

If you know of anybody that is needing shelter, please.

Maria:

There are warming shelters throughout the city of Atlanta.

Maria:

Please direct them accordingly.

Maria:

If you are not in Atlanta and it is super cold and you see that there are folks that are in need, you know, you have a couple dollars, go ahead and get some blankets.

Maria:

If you want to give some blankets to some folks that could use it, I'm pretty sure they would be greatly appreciative.

Maria:

If you also know of any warming sensors, please share with your peoples, sharing your community so that folks can get in and survive this winter.

Maria:

Okay?

Maria:

Is there anything else that I want to talk about?

Maria:

Don't want to talk about the TikTok band?

Maria:

Yes, talk about it.

Maria:

It's a lot of playing in our faces.

Maria:

It's a lot of playing in our faces.

Maria:

And whether you choose to see that will be your discernment and your.

Maria:

But the Tick Tock was gone for like 12, 13, 14 hours and it came right on back.

Maria:

This kind of speaks to what I've been saying for the last eight years.

Maria:

Let me think.

Maria:

I've been podcasting for eight and a half years.

Maria:

I've been talking about social media about seven or eight years.

Maria:

But what's going on with Tick Tock is exactly what I've been saying about social media and how follower counts and those things mean nothing if you don't have somewhere to take them afterwards.

Maria:

That's why I've been always talking about the email lists.

Maria:

It's not where I put in myself above other creators.

Maria:

I'm just saying this just makes.

Maria:

If y'all ever been like, dang sure talking about that email list, that is why those apps will be here today, going today, sometimes back tomorrow.

Maria:

But that's not always the case.

Maria:

Shout out to Vine.

Maria:

So sometimes, you know, those things come back and sometimes they don't, you know, shout out to MySpace.

Maria:

They tried.

Maria:

We'll see if they try to come back.

Maria:

You know, since Tick Tock made it come back.

Maria:

Also be very Careful, you know, with your information, seeing what's out there, knowing your terms and conditions.

Maria:

Also be careful to who you actually follow on social media.

Maria:

Some of these folks are.

Maria:

I think I'm gonna share my real.

Maria:

Or was that tick tock?

Maria:

I don't remember.

Maria:

But I was talking about the healer to narcissist pipeline.

Maria:

And I don't like to use the word narcissist freely, because everybody likes to these days.

Maria:

But in some.

Maria:

Some cases are valid.

Maria:

Okay, so don't get that twisted.

Maria:

Some cases are valid, but then other people don't.

Maria:

Like I've seen people call someone a narcissist because they respectfully disagree.

Maria:

And I'm looking here as a third party that.

Maria:

No, no fight in the argument at all.

Maria:

I don't have any bias or anything.

Maria:

I'm just like, this is a respectful exchange.

Maria:

How is that person a narcissist?

Maria:

I said, what is this person going through to where this would be that extreme for them?

Maria:

No name calling, no disrespect, no berating, no literally, no belittling, no judgment.

Maria:

It was just a simple question to help understand the logic.

Maria:

And, you know, and I can tell when somebody BSing.

Maria:

But that didn't seem like a.

Maria:

A weird, you know, passive aggressive type of response.

Maria:

The person said, I would like to understand your point further.

Maria:

Could you clarify when you say xyz.

Maria:

Xyz?

Maria:

And that person said, well, you're a narcissist.

Maria:

Of course you wouldn't understand.

Maria:

I was like, oh, my gosh.

Maria:

So anyway, I just want y'all to be very clear with whether people are actually fortifying you and giving you joy or adding value to your life with the content that you consume, or are they feeding into unhealthy habits, patterns, behaviors, thoughts, things like that?

Maria:

That's just something to keep in mind.

Maria:

So we are catching up, baby.

Maria:

It is.

Maria:

We have 15 minutes in.

Maria:

Obviously, it's been a while.

Maria:

I wanted to do that meditation, but spirit said, no.

Maria:

And I know that sounds crazy, right?

Maria:

You'd be like, you were supposed to do a meditation, help people get through the fires.

Maria:

What happened?

Maria:

Spirit said, there's.

Maria:

There's something else that you're gonna need to do.

Maria:

There's something else that's happening, and when that happens, you will need to do that then.

Maria:

So again, I'm praying for those that are in California that are trying to rebuild, that are dealing with the smoke and not to mention the meditation, the smoke.

Maria:

I would rather share our social media, like, resources to help folks get proper mask and breathing herbs and Things of that nature to help clean their lungs versus inhaling and breathing air that is very, very toxic.

Maria:

And now that I think about it, now that I'm talking about it, because I haven't seen say anything out loud about it since, maybe that is one reason why I was swayed by spirits to move in a different direction with that.

Maria:

Because technically the air quality is not good.

Maria:

It's not good for those that are in that area in LA county that are going through those situations with the fire.

Maria:

So it seems like the rather to have people breathe in and deal with that with toxic air.

Maria:

Maybe the mission or the message in this case is to tell folks to make sure you're taking care of your lung health.

Maria:

If you have a couple extra dollars, maybe getting an air purifier, maybe some masks, if you have a couple dollars, maybe getting some.

Maria:

Some mullen for your lungs.

Maria:

Again, I'm no doctor and no herbalist here, okay?

Maria:

So if you need to go back to your herbalist at your favorite herb store, if you're going to Napoli Naturals, if you're in Leimert, you know, if you're going to Dr.

Maria:

Goss over there in Compton, may God rest his soul.

Maria:

But Dr.

Maria:

Goss had a herb store over there in Compton.

Maria:

New Body Products.

Maria:

If you need to go over there on Compton Boulevard and go ahead and get you a recommendation for a lung protocol, do that.

Maria:

If you go to your doctor, if you need asthma, handler, whatever it is, do what you have to do to take care of your lungs first.

Maria:

No need to breathe in and inhaling and holding air, that.

Maria:

That's not good for you.

Maria:

So I believe that's probably why I, you know, I think that's what spirit was trying to tell me.

Maria:

And saying it out loud, my heart feels centered and strong in, in confirming that.

Maria:

So that's probably what that was.

Maria:

And I thank source for, you know, for letting me know that.

Maria:

So y'all know I have not emailed y'all in a while.

Maria:

That's gonna change.

Maria:

Things are going to change with that.

Maria:

I'm gonna tap in with y'all a lot more again.

Maria:

Taking a break.

Maria:

Feels good to recenter.

Maria:

Feels good to renew.

Maria:

Normally, I'll talk a little faster, but we slowing it down today.

Maria:

Nothing wrong with slowing things down, right?

Maria:

But y'all know I can't do any podcast episode without thanking y'all for listening.

Maria:

So thank you for listening, boo.

Maria:

Friends, don't forget, sign up for the email list.

Maria:

If you haven't, you get a free gift and that's going to change because I think I'm ready to do something different.

Maria:

I'm just going to continue to let God order my steps and then when it's time to move, we're gonna get to step in.

Maria:

But yeah, sign up for that email list too though, just so you're not, you know, out the loop here.

Maria:

Also, complete the podcast listener survey.

Maria:

If you have not done so, please tap in with that.

Maria:

That's the first link in my show notes.

Maria:

I got more stuff coming on YouTube.

Maria:

Don't forget to sign up for my YouTube.

Maria:

All these links are in my show notes.

Maria:

But again, boo friends, thank y'all for listening.

Maria:

Y'all could have been listen to any other podcast out there in podcast land.

Maria:

There's tens and thousands of them and you choose to listen to this one whenever you, you know, feel like tapping in with your girl for the last eight and a half years over the last 500 plus episodes.

Maria:

Okay, so this has been another episode of the Spiritual Homegirl podcast and I want to shout out my sponsor now that TikTok is back.

Maria:

So this podcast episode has been sponsored by Nick Fresh.

Maria:

Nick Fresh is wonderful.

Maria:

He's awesome.

Maria:

Music connoisseur, soul trainologist of all colleges, dj, music music historian behind the Looseness radio show and music designed to move your Behind Tuesdays tomorrow, that is at 10pm on tick tock.

Maria:

To find them, your the username you'll look for is Nick Fresh Alive.

Maria:

N I C K F R E S H A L I V E so with that being said, y'all, I'll catch y'all next episode.

Maria:

This has been another podcast episode of the Spiritual Homegirl Podcast.

Maria:

My name is Maria, your spiritual homegirl.

Maria:

And remember, boo friends, trust the journey, trust yourself.

Maria:

And whatever you do, do it with love.

Maria:

Okay?

Maria:

Love y'all.

Maria:

Peace.

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    About the Podcast

    Spiritual Homegirl
    Bettering self and spirit to empower community, from a Homegirl, "just like you" perspective!
    I'm Maria, the Spiritual Homegirl! I'm a spiritual being and mental health professional who shares my wisdom, credentials, and experience to help you navigate the journey of the unknown and unexpected like a BOSS! I have been blessed to have been podcasting since 2016, and to have a global audience that spans 181 countries and over a million episode downloads since launching! I have been featured on NowThis News, ComplexNews, and Mantra Wellness magazine, to name a few! If you are ready for down-to-earth gems to help you grow to be your best self, tap in! Don't forget to subscribe to the Spiritual Homegirl Podcast on your favorite podcasting platform, and leave a review!
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    Maria Gates

    I'm Maria, the Spiritual Homegirl! I'm a spiritual being and mental health professional who shares my wisdom, credentials, and experience to help you navigate the journey of the unknown and unexpected like a BOSS! I have been blessed to have been podcasting since 2016, and to have a global audience that spans 181 countries and over a million episode downloads since launching! I have been featured on NowThis News, ComplexNews, and Mantra Wellness magazine, to name a few! If you are ready for down-to-earth gems to help you grow to be your best self, tap in! Don't forget to subscribe to the Spiritual Homegirl Podcast on your favorite podcasting platform, and leave a review!